1989 Plymouth Voyager III
facebook has started putting warning labels on links from The Onion apparently
i think this one was named “The Scorpion”
the new pope is homophobic. wow. shocking. i think i need to sit down to process this completely unexpected and unprecedented news
translation: “He’s not homophobic, he just doesn’t think gay people should have basic human rights.”
I definitely do not agree. The pope is literally and angel. He treats everyone the same and will kiss everyone’s babies. And concerning gay marriage, he once said
"Rather than judge, let’s try to understand."
Yes, he does not agree with gay marriage, but that’s because he firmly believes in the bible’s sayings. HE TREATS EVERYONE WITH LOVE AND KINDNESS. BUT HE HAS TO AGREE WITH THE CHURCH. Please don’t hate on Pope Francis. He is definitely the best one we’ve had so far.
this post is over a year old and i still have to strap on my oxygen mask and climbing gear every time i get a notification from it for fear of being lost in the frigid wastes of Peak Liberal
that cashcrab text post that was just a link to tumblr.com/tagged/6000000 is one of the only things on this website that has literally left me speechless
Jerry loses a tooth in the middle of a performance and it skitters out into the audience. As he crawls around on the sticky comedy club floor trying to find it, the disgusted audience refusing to help him, more of his teeth eject from his gums and scatter across the floor. When he finally collects them all, he emerges triumphantly from behind a table, blood smearing his toothless face, and continues his set as if nothing happened.
George gets into the elevator in his office’s building and presses the button for his floor. The doors close, but when they reopen moments later, there’s nothing outside but a hundred-foot drop into an empty field. There are no buildings as far as he can see, and the elevator seems impossibly suspended in the air. He tries pressing buttons for other floors, but the doors always reopen onto the same scene at the same elevation, only with different weather conditions.
Elaine has a dream wherein she’s the Vice President of the United States and Puddy is in a wheelchair with a pregnant wife. Taking this as a sign, she breaks up with him immediately upon waking, but quickly realizes she’s too apathetic to even consider starting a political career.
After several days in the elevator, George has developed an elaborate system for collecting rainwater from 14 and catching pigeons to eat on 5, which he cooks in the sunlight of the hellishly ozone-bereft 12. He spends most of his time enjoying the balmy breeze on 4, riding up to the blizzard on 11 whenever he begins to feel overheated. After a while, the boredom gets to him, and he takes a closer look at the elevator’s control panel, where he discovers a button he hadn’t seen before. With no hope left for rescue, he presses it and the doors close. After what seems like an hour of slow descent, the bell finally dings and the doors slide open, revealing an enormous audience rimmed by gigantic, toothless gums. The elevator tilts forward and he nearly falls out, hanging through the door as what appears to be blood drips from all around him. Eventually he manages to clamber back inside and desperately stabs at the “Door Close” button, but to no avail.
Kramer is furious when he learns that his deposits at the sperm bank have earned no interest.
i know “smells like ass” is a common thing to say but those Haribo gummy coke bottle candies literally smell exactly like ass it’s uncanny
»american psycho« by mimi cabell and jason huff
this book was made by sending the entire text of bret easton ellis’ american psycho between two gmail accounts page by page. we saved the relational ads for each page and added them back into the text as footnotes. in total, we collected over 800 relevant ads for the book. the constellations of footnoted ads throughout these pages retell the story of american psycho in absence of the original text. this retelling reveals gmail’s unpredictable insensitivity to violence, racism, and sex. it serves as a blurry portrait of an algorithm that exists in our everyday communication simultaneously forming a new portrait of the lead character, patrick bateman.
jason huff/mimi cabell nyc 2012
yes it does, it’s one of the first results
The anthropologists decided that this tribe was to remain “uncontacted”.
This is one of the best things iv seen today